(Guest Rant by Matt Z)
All’s fair in love and war. And business. Especially ours.

With a new interactive player popping up seemingly over night – each and every night - the battle for business is escalating. And getting bloodier pitch-by-pitch. The dead and wounded litter the columns of Adweek and AdAge on a regular basis. But we have seen the enemy. In fact, we often frequent the same Starbucks.

We work in a fuzzy, gray, incestuous industry, where we seem to swap roles and agencies with friends and former co-workers with the same frequency and relish that Jenna Jameson swaps co-stars (for edification, Jenna Jameson is an extremely successful adult film star – or so I hear).

But where does your allegiance lie? Does it lie with the friend who was once the creative ying to your yang? The Wallace to your Gromit? Or, does it now firmly reside with the company that enables you to pay for your house, your white chocolate mocha’s, your Jenna Jameson Collector’s Edition Boxed Set?

I mean, what do you do when your friend is also your enemy?

In short, you do what Sonny did in The Godfather, after they tried to kill his old man: You “go to the mattresses.”

You prepare for a war.

You arm yourself with killer account people. Bolster your defenses with deadly accurate creatives. Lock-and-load with media mercenaries. Send in the technology troopers and the strategy snipers because the battle is raging. And the first casualty is friendship.

An account goes up for review and you can almost smell the blood in the air (aka marketing dollars). You know the footage you see on Animal Planet of a lame zebra limping through the shimmering heat of the Serengeti? And then you see a couple of lionesses slowly, stealthily following the zebra? That’s our business. In fact, the only difference is that our world is a bit more cutthroat (and when you consider that we’re talking about creatures that actually tear out throats, that’s really saying something). The pitch teams are being formed, the vultures are circling, creative is on high alert, and the lions – well – they’ve got company: Hyenas.

I’m been on the agency side for most of my life, and have been part of many successful pitch teams in my day -- as well in some disastrous ones for sure. But recently I was on the other side of the table, being pitched to by agencies in the US and UK.

We asked the agencies for the usual credentials, relevant experience etc., and we provided them with two scenarios on which we wanted to get their ideas in order to gauge their creativity and approach.

Several things struck me about agency pitches. First, don’t be a dumb ass. I’m not being sarcastic here, just real. It’s incredible how many small stupid mistakes agencies can make that ruin their chances of getting the business. Here are some of my notes from the meetings.

Do some basic research. There is no excuse in today’s world, especially when you can Google anything in seconds. That’s plain laziness.
• One guy’s big idea was that I should start a blog…seriously
• One agency clearly did not even know what businesses we are in
• Several made a bunch of suggestions about stuff we were already doing
• One agency clearly did not even know what businesses we are in

Be prepared. Read the RFP for the love of god. Seriously a couple of folks clearly did not do that.
• Some agencies were clearly not prepared to answer the questions that were written in black and white in the RFP
• One agency sent just one sales guy to “get briefed on what you want” and was clearly not ready to present to us.

The team makes all the difference. Frankly I was surprised how similar everyone’s capabilities content was. Everyone says the same thing about why they are great, and I can’t recall whose presentations was whose. What I did remember was the people and their ideas. Would I want to work with them?
• Some were smart , but arrogant
• Some were not so smart, but personable
• And a couple were both smart and personable (who do you think won?)

Mind the visuals. I hate to say it, but we are superficial – great content in a cheesy PowerPoint deck says less, and doesn’t work as hard as decent content in a wonderfully designed presentation. I actually remember the nice business cards from the lame ones, the binder clips from the nicely covered leave behinds

At the end of the day a pitch is like a job interview. The resume means little once you are in the room. The magic is connecting with the folks who will ultimately hire you on a personal level

7th grade was special.

I took a drag of my first cigarette (hated it), I started wearing corduroy Levis and flannel shirts (no, it wasn’t a grunge thing, it was 1975), and I made that timeless transition from awkward, shy, gawky young child to – well - awkward, shy, gawky teenager. But as much as I expanded my somewhat limited horizons, I also left something behind: knowledge.

Because in 1975, during my 13th year, I had a monumental lapse in judgment, which I am paying for dearly today: I dropped Spanish. In today’s marketplace the Hispanic audience is huge. And growing. If you’re a copywriter fluent in Spanish that makes you a better copywriter than me. It’s an invaluable feather to have in your cap. I wish I had it.

But I’m not totally bereft of bilingual ability.

I do speak another language. Fluently. Well, it’s not really that I speak it, as much as I have the ability to translate it. The language of Account Management. What? You’ve never heard of it? Oh wait, of course, you probably know it better as one of the many disciplines in the marketing world. But I assure you it’s a language unto itself. Then again, I do have a big advantage. Because nowhere is the language of Account Management spoken more – and misunderstood more - than around creatives. Don’t make the same mistakes I made all those years ago. Learn from my lessons. I give you the top 20, most common Account Management phrases, and their “creative” translations. Learn them. Live them. Know them.
What they say: “Wow, that concept is really interesting!” What they mean: “Please tell me you executed another concept.”

What they say: “Look, I’m not a copywriter, but…”

What they mean: “That copy is FPO – right?”

Brands radiate emotion (at least the good ones do); they make you feel something, some emotion which is the catalyst to start a relationship and make a purchase. Some brands, like PRADA, Bentley, and Godiva make you feel decadent. Others strive to make you feel practical, like Volkswagen, Tom’s Toothpaste, and Southwest Airlines. I could go on-and-on about how this brand stands for this, and that brand stands for that. The big question for any marketer is how to go about building or redefining a brand’s emotion in today’s fragmented multi channel, multi device world.

In the old days, before the advent of our little ‘ole Internet, the formula was simple: create a compelling brand message and broadcast the hell out of it so that the public was assimilated into your brand. As you know I tend to bash Madison Ave. on this blog because I feel most of their tactics are dated and no longer effective. But that’s not to say there aren’t some aspects of traditional advertising that deserve our respect. Let’s take the fundamentals, writing and art direction, which in my opinion is where the bulk of emotion is created.

Advertising is supposed to be the epitome of marketing communication. It is where words and pictures (whether moving or still, interactive or static) blend to create some kind of brand experience to affect consumer behavior.

A copywriter once wrote, “don’t leave home without it,” which creates an emotion that drives a behavior (for those of you who weren’t born when that copy was, it’s from a very famous television commercial for American Express). Sadly though, Copywriting seems to have taken a backseat to design. It’s become a bit of a lost art, if you ask me. The “writer” as creative director has become an endangered species.