7th grade was special.
I took a drag of my first cigarette (hated it), I started wearing corduroy Levis and flannel shirts (no, it wasn’t a grunge thing, it was 1975), and I made that timeless transition from awkward, shy, gawky young child to – well - awkward, shy, gawky teenager. But as much as I expanded my somewhat limited horizons, I also left something behind: knowledge.
Because in 1975, during my 13th year, I had a monumental lapse in judgment, which I am paying for dearly today: I dropped Spanish. In today’s marketplace the Hispanic audience is huge. And growing. If you’re a copywriter fluent in Spanish that makes you a better copywriter than me. It’s an invaluable feather to have in your cap. I wish I had it.
But I’m not totally bereft of bilingual ability.
I do speak another language. Fluently. Well, it’s not really that I speak it, as much as I have the ability to translate it. The language of Account Management. What? You’ve never heard of it? Oh wait, of course, you probably know it better as one of the many disciplines in the marketing world. But I assure you it’s a language unto itself. Then again, I do have a big advantage. Because nowhere is the language of Account Management spoken more – and misunderstood more - than around creatives. Don’t make the same mistakes I made all those years ago. Learn from my lessons. I give you the top 20, most common Account Management phrases, and their “creative” translations. Learn them. Live them. Know them.
What they say: “Wow, that concept is really interesting!” What they mean: “Please tell me you executed another concept.”
What they say: “Look, I’m not a copywriter, but…”
What they mean: “That copy is FPO – right?”
What they say: “So you decided to go with the green.” What they mean: “I can’t believe you went with green.”
What they say: “We have a tight turnaround on this one.” What they mean: “Hope you don’t have any plans tonight.”
What they say: “Did you get a chance to review the creative brief?”
What they mean: “Obviously, he didn’t bother to look at the creative brief.”
What they say: “Does the timeline work for you?”
What they mean: “We already promised the client it would be done in two days.”
What they say: “Do you have a creative rationale for the concept?”
What they mean: “Please tell me you based this on more than just “it looks cool.”
What they say: “Ask the client whatever you want.”
What they mean: “Don’t say anything stupid.”
What they say: “Do whatever you need to do to get inspired.”
What they mean: “He better not come back here drunk.”
What they say: “I always defend creative.”
What they mean: “It’s not your creative, it’s the client’s.”
What they say: “I will not allow creative by committee.” What they mean: “Did you know the client studied graphic design in college?”
What they say: “I think that headline is really clever.”
What they mean: “I don’t get the headline.”
What they say: “I’m so glad you guys are on this project.”
What they mean: “Great, we got the “B” team again?”
What they say: “I want this campaign to really showcase the creative.”
What they mean: “This campaign is all about numbers.”
What they say: “Take as much time as you need to make the creative great.”
What they mean: “You’ve got 1 day, I don’t care how much you whine.”
What they say: “I love your passion.”
What they mean: “Just finish the fucking copy!”
What they say: “I think this is a great first attempt.”
What they mean: “The client’s going to kill this.”
What they say: “I love the way the copy touches on everything.”
What they mean: “It’s body copy, not a novel.”
What they say: “You look great!”
What they mean: “I can’t believe he’s going to the meeting dressed like that.”
What they say: “I think that Account and Creative are finally on the same page.”
What they mean: “No hablo español.”
